Ask The Right Question

Thought for the Day

I read an article yesterday about brain development in children and adolescents. I was delighted to discover that it does happen. I have wondered on occasion. When hormones enter the equation all common sense is lost for a time. But I was thinking more of youthful development. It reminded me of an experience I had while still very young that left an impression on me. It is useful at times to consider it when evaluating the behavior of my grandchildren.

I was a reasonably bright child. Not in the way, Mozart or Doogie Howard were bright but clever, funny and healthy. I enjoyed school and making friends. I enjoyed learning and participating in the games of the day. Under normal circumstances I would have been appropriately one of the kids. I did not stand out in any particular way other than being one of the better readers in classes. The class was divided into groups and I was in the best group of readers.

During that particular era "The Weekly Reader" was the publication used for class reading monitoring and evaluation. There were items about current events, novelties and a bit of useful "how to" information as I recall. Like most of the class I looked forward to the new issues. I liked to read and enjoyed each new issue. At the back of the publication there was a little quiz to measure our retention of the material. It was not tricky or misleading. It just ask straight forward questions about the content.

My family was very big on honesty. I was taught from the time I was a tot to tell the truth. I knew the George Washington cherry tree story and a host of others about truthfulness. I was always instructed to do my own work and take responsibility for my actions. This was not a negotiable characteristic. It was the spine of life itself.

I believe the incident I am about to recall for you happened when I was in the second grade. It could have been the third but frankly, I can't be sure. In any case the trouble began when I began to fail the Weekly Reader quiz. At first it just sort of flowed along with the rest of the class work and since nothing else was going on it was not mentioned. We each corrected our own quiz and then turned them in to the teacher. Then one day the teacher, who was fond of moving around the room while going over the questions, was standing in back of me during this exercise. When the test had been corrected she bent down by my desk and asked if I had trouble reading the words.

I told her that I could read the words just fine with a proud smile. She smiled too and went on with more questions. Then we finally got to the real question which was why was it so hard for me to get the right answers. I told her in the rhetoric of a second grader, "I don't know". As this exchange continued we got to crux of the matter. She explained to me that I was one of the best readers in the class, that this was not difficult material and that the test was very clear and quite fundmental.  I agreed. Then, she wanted to know, why was it so hard for me to answer the questions after I read the paper. I said it wasn't.
"But, I don't read it until I take the test."
There was a rather long silence.
"Why is that?" she said.
"It would be cheating. Anyone could get the right answers if they read it first."

It was the first time my personal ethics ran into the wall of misunderstanding, but it wouldn't be the last. We got the problem solved and I went on to do just fine on the quiz at the end of the Weekly Reader. But, the reason I tell this story is to remind you that all problems with children are not clear and sometimes we have to dig a little deeper to understand. Maybe what you thought was a big problem with your youngster was a very small one that got big because it didn't get explained.

Spending time with children is one of the most rewarding and challenging of occupations.

©Herb Ratliff, September 25, 2012, All Rights Reserved