James Bond Henchmen

It was one of those days that went on forever. I had been in meetings in Portland, Oregon, San Francisco, and San Diego and ended with a late one in Los Angeles. I was sitting in LAX waiting for a flight that was a couple of hours away. It would take me back to Michigan, my own bed and the comforts of home. 

To say I was tired would be like saying Muhammad Ali had a strong self image. It was later than I usually traveled but I wanted to get home. Seems like it was near midnight and even LAX was fairly quiet. Most of the restaurants were closed and all of the kiosk stands with food were folded up and put away. There was nothing in the concourse my flight was departing from and I had no interest in walking to another.

The only thing open with seating was a bar and that's where I was sitting. Not even the bar tender was conversational. The place reminded me of an Edward Hopper painting. I scanned the bar and surroundings for food. Hunger had found its way to the surface. It came with the quiet and the resignation of a long night ahead. I asked the bartender if he had any food. He looked at me like I had just disembarked the lower deck of steerage. His tone, a combination of pity and disdain, matched the look of irritation on his face and he dribbled out, "chips and nuts".

That killed about all the appetite I had but I persisted. 

"Is there any place close by to get food?" 

"Check the news stand next door."

I got off the bar stool and walked to the door. There was a large news stand just next door with books, newspapers and many of the things you tend to forget when you take a trip. They are all priced like they are hand made of precious metal. They also have the mandatory candy counter with chips, nuts, crackers and fig Newton’s. I have never liked fig Newton’s, even in my hungriest states. But, they were not looking too bad. I settled on some cashews and peanut butter crackers.

I took my intended purchases to the counter of the deserted cash register. It was a strange arrangement. There was a column directly in front of the counter. I remember thinking something negative about Californians and their unique attitudes and styles. This however, was stupid. Why would you put a column right in the way of business transactions? It wasn't like you could go around it but that's what I attempted to do. It moved. I know, that's how I felt. I kind of jumped back. Earthquakes? It is LA. 

I looked up. It looked back down at me. It wasn't a column; it was a person, a very large person. I was freaked out. It was Lurch, Jaws, and the James Bond Henchman, remember?

He was so tall, so large I thought he was a column. Yes, it was late, I was tired and walking around in a bit of a haze but wow, that guy is big.

He just smiled and nodded his head. I waited more patiently than before and finally got my food. Airports, they are amazing any time but in the wee hours they are a bit like the movies.

©Herb Ratliff, October 15, 2012, All Rights Reserved