Let Me Explain.....

Thought For The Day

When I was very young it was normal to ask questions. That's what children do, sometimes to the absolute distraction of the people being asked questions. But, it was expected and joked about and most of the time the questions were answered until the adult involved reached the end of their knowledge base and had to bow out of the discussion gracefully or not. My experience was quite normal in that respect.

As I continued to grow up and entered into relationships with others a good deal of my experiences still created questions, but the willingness to answer questions seemed to diminish. Sometimes the reason for the change in willingness was connected to religion. Let's face it, "Because God said so." is a real conversation stopper when you are a child. Add to it, "Do you want to go to hell?" and here ends the curiosity for most. However, there is always school and there in the halls of learning questions and dialogue are welcomed, right?

I will admit that I may have had more questions than the average kid, if not more questions, more persistence than most in pursuing clarification. This often led to a most frustrating condition for me and most likely for the teachers. They ran out of interest in my questions before I got my answers. Now, leaving a student with more questions is not a bad thing. Seeking information is the milieu of the student. But, asking the student to perform tasks when information has nothing to adhere to is likely to leave both student and teacher in confused state, one about the purpose of this information, the other about the teachability of this student. In this arena, both fail to accomplish their objective.

My curiosity was never sufficiently stunted to leave me without questions. It created some problems for me in the classroom but who doesn't have a problem or two to deal with anyway? What it did to me was sow a seed of passion for explaining things to people, never to leave a person with an incomplete set of reasons for anything I could explain and it drove my kids loony. As loving and caring as I was in my quest to never leave a question unanswered, my children lived in a world that existed on the hope that they would never have to ask me why.

And so the loves you have and promises you make to create a better life for your children can, on occasion, be the bane of their existence. But, that's why they make chocolate and vanilla, right? You can love, you can love deeply, passionately and selflessly the sweet children who enter your world as your babies but how well you love them will be decided by them. Just because your intentions are honorable does not mean they are successful. And in the final analysis isn't the real job of a parent to teach his offspring to be independent anyway?

Herb Ratliff, April 24, 2012, All Rights Reserved