Are you listening to me?

Thought For The Day

Luncheon of the Boating Party by Pierre-Auguste Renoir 

Have you ever noticed that when you get together with a close friend or relative after a long absence, the

intense feeling of wanting to share things with them you feel they would understand in a much more

meaningful way than most folks? If what you wish to share with them is in a format that requires

preparation,presentation, waiting for assimilation and then awaiting comment (praise is the operative word

here), it seems a very long wait?  In the absorption of your offering, because of the closeness of mind and

spirit, there inevitably is a response in the form of an offering back to you either in a like format or yet

another format that illustrates the point you were making in the offering you gave in the first place. So, the

presentations alternate and  the desperation grows as each wait's for the praise but is given an alternate

offering in it's place seeking it's praise. This happy moment runs the risk of seriously eroding the good will of

both participants and yet, it is born of the love and longing for the company, each of the other. How often is,

what we seek, approval from someone we love and admire? That is not to say we do not seek the approval

of those we do not know, but admire. Approval and admiration is welcome from any audience. It is just

deigned from many, expected from some, and relished from a few. And then, there are those from whom but

a slight nod of approval would induce a profusion of ecstasy.

I have observed people visiting over lunch, drinks or even in the parking lot speaking with great enthusiasm

about something of the utmost importance. In this observation I have noted a kind of simultaneous delivery

of  information with very little, if any, response or appreciation directed back at the spirited offering. And all

parties in attendance participate at the same time Which on it's face could imply little interest in the other

speakers words. This is something I have noticed more often with a group of women than men. There is no

intended judgement here. It is merely an observation. Women tend not to seek solutions to be employed but

ears to hear their protestations. Men are far more interested in offering solutions and improvements. It's a

kind of social interchange that could, if you thought it through, completely mystify you. In the end I believe

that what is achieved is not so much the movement of information from one person to the other but rather a

kind of mutual bathing in words and ideas for the purpose of cleansing the absence, the awful, lonely,

unforgiving, indiscriminate absence.

Herb Ratliff, March 6, 2012, All Rights Reserved