I've been trying to remember the earliest event in my life
that I can recall in some detail. Most memories of early childhood are more
akin to a panel or two from a Sunday Cartoon page. Not because they are funny
or a vehicle for satire but because there simply isn’t enough trapped
information to give it a beginning, a middle and an end. The other difficult
part of such memories is memory.
I have been writing stories about my life for about nine
months now. They have not been based on any chronological order just what I
remember. In one such story about my father, my sister, Jo Ann told me the
information in my story was incorrect. That has to be true because her story
didn’t have the same details as mine but as far as I am concerned it’s her
story that is wrong. And I know that is true because I have the memories to
substantiate it.
So what, exactly, is a memory of a childhood event if not a
combination of history, belief and idealization mixed with a little fantasy?
The truth is what is in your head. It isn’t as if you are knowingly
reorganizing or manufacturing data to misrepresent an historical fact. The
story my sister took exception to was as clear to her as my recollection was to
me. The big difference in that particular incident was two other sisters who
agreed with her memory of the story. I’ve always felt like an outsider, who
wouldn’t as the only male among five sisters?
I read an article once that described what happens in
memories. What I recall is this: When an incident occurs we almost immediately
lose a large percentage of the details of the event. A large percentage of
those lost details are gone forever. The parts that are most important remain
in our more immediate memory and are retrievable but not necessarily accurate. Then
there is the matter of the connecting material.
What happens is the brain realizes the story has to flow. If
part of the story is missing the flow is interrupted. The brain doesn’t like
interruptions or premature ends to its stories so it fills in the missing
information with plausible or preferred flow material. That changes the story
but might even make it a better one. We may like that story better than the
real one so that becomes the story. See?
You are a human being with a brain that does what it wants
sometimes. That does not make you a prevaricator or inaccurate purveyor of
historical events. It makes you an extemporaneous historical information
creator who smoothes out the potholes of failing memory. It just works better
if you can avoid people who were at the same places you were when the events
happened.
In no way is it my intention to appear critical of my
sister(s), I’m only interested in enlightening my readers with relevant
information about these stories I tell. I applaud their interest in the
accuracy of my meanderings. I just beg their indulgence and yours when there
appears to be a discrepancy in the facts. I would never deceive you dear reader,
never.
Herb Ratliff, August 29, 2012, All Rights Reserved