Expectations

Thought For The Day

Much is said about the value of being considerate of others and I have no reason to argue that.

Being considerate is a behavior that sends good feelings in both directions. What is a bit confusing is what "being considerate" means to the parties involved. This is where some unhappy moment seedlings germinate.

I remember an event that happened many years ago that involved an inaccurate perception. There was an invitation to have dinner with the in laws. That was something I always enjoyed because I liked my in laws and the food was always good. When the table was set and the food placed on the table we all sat down. A prayer was offered with thanks for the food and then, as was his custom, my father in law sliced and served the meat to each person.

The choices of vegetables, rolls and so on were decided individually. What caught my eye was a bowl of creamed potatoes. (Why is it the starches always taste the best?) I took a hearty portion befitting a lumberjack, put down my plate and began with a large spoonful of potatoes.

To say that I was shocked is an understatement. Shocked, perplexed, disappointed and unhappy would better describe my condition. It was not creamed potatoes, it was creamed onions. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with creamed onions. They are quite good if you know what you are eating. But, if you expect potatoes and you get onions there is a serious let down.

My dear mother in law had been watching me, as cooks do, to see my pleasure exposed. I must not have looked pleasure filled because she fairly gasped at my reaction which was more surprise than anything else. Then, there was a forced silence while we gathered ourselves and then, uproarious laughter at the double mistake, hers in making creamed onions and mine in thinking it was creamed potatoes.

Hardly a life changing event but a text book example of putting too much stock in one's own expectations. What you expect and what you get are rarely the same. And yet, there we are, far too often, with drawn faces and flared tempers over something we imagined rather than what actually occurred.

The people around us do what they do with little or no regard for our feelings or needs, just like we do. To be filled with disappointment because things did not go as expected is a human condition that few of us will ever manage well. Here's to giving it a try just for today. O K?

©Herb Ratliff, June 25, 2012, All Rights Reserved