Thought for the Day: I Remember

The look you get from a child should remind you when you tell him, 

"Wait until tomorrow."

Thought for the Day: Answering Questions

"When a child asks you something answer him, for goodness, sake. But don't make a production of it. Children are children but they can spot an evasion faster than adults, and evasion simply muddles 'em."  - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Thought for the Day: Help

Remember what she says:

In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask. If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.

It's always a good idea to make sure you have prepared yourself before you try to help others.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: What Are You Thinking?

It doesn't matter near as much what others think of you as what you think of yourself. I mean respect not pride. In the long run you teach people how to treat you.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Expectations

I've never argued against planning ahead, goals, dreams and aspirations. I have come to see the landmines one can step on when setting up expectations of another's behavior. The secret to success in these sensitive arenas is the sure knowledge of which is which. One of them is planning what you control, the other is trying to control what you can't.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Finishing

Have you ever had the occasion to watch a sheet-rock finisher ply his trade? It's worth the time and filled with good advice. What I found to be most noteworthy was how he left the surface alone after he finished it with his spatula. He never went back over it with tiny fixes and touch ups. He left it alone. Good idea.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Listen

If all you do is talk, all you hear is what you already know.

©Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Quiet Gifts

The other day I was visiting with some old friends. Many of them were people I hadn't seen in over twenty years. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed someone looking at me. Finally, I turned and walked toward him to see if it was someone I hadn't recognized.

Before I could even introduce myself he looked at me and thanked me in a very kind way for something I had no memory of doing and so I protested the compliment and suggested he mistook me for someone else. He spoke my name and assured me there was no mistake. The he told me what had happened.

I still had no idea who he was and no recollection of the event. But the smile on his face was too genuine for me to argue. He said he had to leave and was abruptly gone from sight.

Sometimes I think I live in a world where people do not touch one another in any significant way. The truth is we do it every day, we just don't know about it. But that makes the gift even better.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day:Trust

I was thinking about trust and how few people in my experience have fulfilled a transaction that leaves me with perfect confidence of their trustworthiness.

If that sentence were uttered in a psychologist's office there would be good reason to look at me with a jaundiced eye and offer the suggestion that my inability to find trustworthy people emanates from an inherent untrustworthy set of values in my practices. And, frankly, I would have to agree.

But, I still have to say: It's a characteristics that is worth a great deal to the holder and the recipient. Even if you have to work at it every day.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Service

Every man and woman I admire lives a simple, perhaps hard life. Their goals are all essentially the same. Each morning upon rising they ask themselves one question: What can I do with my sweat and/or resources to serve my fellow man? Then, they do it.

Thought for the Day: Who Do You Trust?

When you seek advice remember to avoid asking too many questions. Asking questions engages the mind to seek reasons and strategies. Reasons and strategies form stories and rationales which get farther and farther from the truth with each iteration of supposition. The truth can be located with only the help of the gut. Your mind will lie to you, you can trust your gut.

Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Father's Day

Dad's Life Work on his 70th Birthday

I was thinking about Father's Day.

For everyone there is a relationship with someone that completes the circle. It's pretty much the same with fathers. Not everyone has a father to grow up with and that's OK because someone comes in to fill that void. As a matter of fact, it may not be someone. It may be some several.

My father was imperfect. Imagine that! But, he was what he could be. When I look back at the life he led, it was, in most part all done for the benefit of the family. That is not true for every day he took breath but from my perspective, it's true most of the time. The parts you can pick out and refer to as exceptions to that are just that, exceptions.

There are men who came in to fill the vacancies left by my dad. Dad worked  two full time jobs. If you have two eight hour jobs and sleep for eight, you have just used up a full day. Add into that travel to and from work, eating, personal hygiene and so on, it cuts into the sleep part. Playing catch in the back yard, while it might be fun, doesn't factor into that very well. So, what's the point?

The point is: each of us does what we consider to be the best use of our skills and time. There are some who may not and usually do not agree with our choices. We could even agree with them but not have the confidence, skill or courage to do it another way. But there are many who do not have the confidence, skill or courage to do it at all.

It's taken all of my life for me to gain a small understanding of what kind of courage it takes to be who you are, to try to be better, to keep trying after failing, to admit my own mistakes and to forego criticism of others who are doing the best they can.

So on Fathers Day what I want to say is: "Thank you, Dad. You are an amazing man."

Herbert B. Ratliff, Jr.

Thought for the Day: Reflections

When you are treated by others the way you treat them, and they will, be thankful for the chance to learn about your behavior. With any luck, you are on the road to a better life.

Thought for the Day: Understanding

At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear. It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.You can love completely without complete understanding.

--Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It

Thought for the Day: Work Tracks

Choose the advice you follow carefully.

There are no calluses on the hands of self appointed experts.

©Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day: Love

Love is not given to careful evaluations of practical matters.

It revs up its engine and races til it splatters or solidifies.

©Herb Ratliff

Thought for the Day:Illusions

The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths.

Alexandr Pushkin - poet, novelist, playwright (1799 - 1837)

Thought for the Day: Persistence

In life as in the dance, grace glides on blistered feet.

Alice Abrams

Thought for the Day: Knowledge

If you don't know, ask, then two people will believe the same thing.

©Herb Ratliff